She’s here! Our little angel arrived on February 2nd, twenty-four hours after my water broke. Looking back on those sleepless and anxious hours at the hospital, it all feels like it happened in the span of a breath. But of course, in those grueling moments, it was anything but.
Here we are, the three of us home and faring well. It seems all those baby books, online articles, and mommy blogs were worth their salt. It gave me the confidence I needed to care for her. Every day is different, some easier than others, but we’re managing better than expected. I’ve come to trust my body on a whole new level. This entire experience is like watching a miracle continuously unfolding. From my body to our newborn’s, every change is as if new parts of a sophisticated machine are awakening.
However, it all comes at a price. From lack of sleep to hormones, the flooding of emotions, and the destruction of your back–and maybe your sanity too. But I look at her and I see the pure manifestation of everything I dreamed and hoped for, and in those moments, a calm settles over me.
When she left my belly, something extraordinary and terrifying took her place. A feeling so profound it bears weight–a sharp blade made of protectiveness, ferocity, and fear, so strong it makes me tremble. I’m not one to entertain tragic what-if scenarios about the people I love: my parents, my siblings, my spouse, or my friends. But after having her, the fear of losing my baby exists alongside the unconditional love I have for her.
It’s a realization that I am not who I once was; that I am forever changed. And that I cannot live without her.
Have I mentioned how terrifying this is?
It’s OK. Breathe. Smile. RomCom’s Anyone?
At the second week of baby girl’s arrival, in between caring for her needs and managing housework, I’ve been in the mood for Romantic Comedies. My favorites are the ones set abroad in the beautiful landscapes of Greece, Italy, France, Spain, and Ireland. Something about these countries and their old-world romantic towns instantly inspires magic. I know what you’re thinking. These aren’t love stories…they’re fairytales. Stories that are often perceived as whimsical, silly, impossible, and unrealistic.
All I know is that they make me feel good. And I’m sure there are millions of fans who would agree with me.
I announce my sudden fervor to binge-watch RomCom’s and my husband gives me the typical male expression, telling me exactly how he (and the male species) feels about those kinds of movies.
What can I say? I’m filled with love and simply seek more of it. Perhaps the other half of the truth is that I’ve felt the icy caress of melancholy–so common during this period after childbirth. Captured in its embrace, it’s very difficult to surface from. And so, I strive to stay ahead of it. Eat well, sleep, smile, and laugh often. I’m trying not to ask too much of my body, even though, as I glance at my waist and no longer see the distinctive bump, I’m still unable to recognize myself. Not in this form. Heavy and sluggish, bearing half the strength I once had. I’m trying not to think too much about it. Not while everything is still so new and fresh.
My husband hates that every single one of these romantic movies involve some deadbeat that a girl is leaving for another man. My reply? Something along the lines of, “Well, I suppose there’s a lesson in there somewhere: Guys…don’t be a deadbeat or an asshole.”
Where have all the RomCom’s gone?
At this moment, I’m watching Letters to Juliet. Primarily set in Verona, Italy, and has the predictable RomCom plot. The only thing that truly differentiates these movies from one another are the faces, the locations, the starting and end point of the lovers (or singleton’s) story. It’s a beautiful, heartwarming movie. When I traveled to Italy several years ago, I longed to visit Verona. To glimpse Juliet’s castle and the famous wall where the love-stricken wrote their letters to Juliet.
Sadly, I was dissuaded by my (male) travel companion, and I’ve regretted it ever since.
If there’s any relationship advice I could offer, I’ll just say: adolescence is a short number of years, and if you’re with someone who has an interest/passion/hobby for which you might feel is childish, allow them a moment of indulgence. You should have your interests and they should have theirs. I think we’d be a little happier if we incorporate nearly as many hours into play as much as we do in work. It’s the best way to fight against the stress that plagues our generation.
“My husband believed that love is just hormones, but it’s more than that. Underneath it, [Lorenzo] was warm, kind, and so much more.” – Letters to Juliet
On my quest to create an exciting list of RC’s to binge-watch, I was disappointed to find Netflix and Amazon Prime lacking. Many of the old favorites weren’t freely available and there were no exciting new releases (save for Leap Year, and Bridget Jones’s Baby). It’s as if the film industry doesn’t believe in making good quality RC’s these days. And don’t get me started on the cringe-worthy Christmas specials. The category is desperately lacking new material.
Remember the decade before the Twilight craze, where Chick Lit and Chick Flicks flooded the shelves and theaters? I’d love to see it come back!
Welp…that’s all I’ve got. It seriously took me over five days to finish this post. >_< Exhaustion depleted me of both energy and creativity. I’m just thankful if half of this makes any sense to you.
Motherhood. Pray for me.
Also, please send me any recommendations on your favorite RomCom’s! xoxo